Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
