Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
