a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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