he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
