I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
as a side note pls kill me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
