I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
