Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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