True but thats because hes a fetus.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
