I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
