Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
ttyl tear gas
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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