they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
