The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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