just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
