I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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