i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
