Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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