i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
