Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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