Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
