If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hippo gnu deer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
