If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
