it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
