Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
