Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My first STD was from a foam party
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
