I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
