love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
