She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
