Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
