Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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