just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
