i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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