Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
