when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
