i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
