i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
