thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
