I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
