i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
