The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
