Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
