every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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