Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
