ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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