Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
