you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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