at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
