omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sorry about my life...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
