My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
