Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
