pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
