People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
