my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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