one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
