Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
